Monthly Archives: May 2016

Breakdancing and Drama

It was quite a night at The Neckbreaker 2016 Tour with Dirtyphonics, Funtcase, and Habstract. I gravitate more towards the bouncy sounds of progressive house, so this crowd was very… hard. But this was a great thing. No one gave a flying fuck what you did in that audience.

There were people headbanging (obviously), breakdancing, bouncing and fist pumping, shuffling, and honestly just making shit up. I went for the Macarena and it seemed to be a crowd favorite. However, the prime people watching involved the young cougars hoping to hunt some easy prey in a skin tight dress and heels. They really picked the wrong night to try. They honestly didn’t know what to do with the dancing and no one was interested in what they had to offer. 90% of the crowd was there purely for the music that night.

But you guys are here for the drama.

Black guys aren’t my thing, but one of them kept trying to dance with/on me. Luckily, I’m a pro distancer and held my own long enough for him to get the hint. Then his crew started break dancing against another crew. I’d like to think it was an elaborate mating display to woo me, but that’s just my ego typing. It was cool for a few minutes then someone got pushed and suddenly the camaraderie face-planted. It was shove city in the middle while security wrestled the people away from each other. They all got unceremoniously kicked out of the club.

…But they chose to stick around outside.

When I left the club, these two groups were still loitering (to put it lightly) and fighting (to put it accurately). Please guys, no need to fight over me. Most people, including myself, stood around waiting for something cool to happen. Then 10 cop cars showed up simultaneously on both sides of the road, creating a well-lit and video-recorded arena for all these ruffled feathers.

A guy from the fray sprinted away mumbling “I got a record, man,” and as far as I can tell they let him continue on his scenic nighttime jog. He lived happily ever after… probably not the rest of his friends though.



Welcome back, fam

I’m not sure what happened, but this blog is suddenly popular again. Welcome. I dropped this blog mainly because life, but I can get y’all all caught up with this long story short:

  • I finished up that stellar internship without getting fired.
  • I rounded out my final year in college with all A’s and regular margaritas.
  • I interviewed for a company that took me to lunch, where everyone got drunk.
  • I knew I found my future professional home and agreed to the job.
  • I packed all my shit into a car and moved to a city where I knew literally no one.
  • I spend most of my afternoons on this rigorous drinking schedule:
    • Monday: bar trivia and beer
    • Tuesday: bar trivia and beer
    • Wednesday: my night off, water
    • Thursday: bar poker and dancing in the club (all alcohols welcome)
    • Friday: float day, DIY drinking plans
    • Saturday: dance club
    • Sunday: GAME OF THRONES

If anyone’s interested in my last few months, I’ve been blogging about how to lose weight without giving up alcohol.

Spoiler Alert: you don’t.