I’m not sure what happened, but this blog is suddenly popular again. Welcome. I dropped this blog mainly because life, but I can get y’all all caught up with this long story short:
- I finished up that stellar internship without getting fired.
- I rounded out my final year in college with all A’s and regular margaritas.
- I interviewed for a company that took me to lunch, where everyone got drunk.
- I knew I found my future professional home and agreed to the job.
- I packed all my shit into a car and moved to a city where I knew literally no one.
- I spend most of my afternoons on this rigorous drinking schedule:
- Monday: bar trivia and beer
- Tuesday: bar trivia and beer
- Wednesday: my night off, water
- Thursday: bar poker and dancing in the club (all alcohols welcome)
- Friday: float day, DIY drinking plans
- Saturday: dance club
- Sunday: GAME OF THRONES
If anyone’s interested in my last few months, I’ve been blogging about how to lose weight without giving up alcohol.
Spoiler Alert: you don’t.
So I went on a fraternity beach weekend. The first night was an exciting shitshow. We frolicked around the beach and did some miscellaneous shenanigans. I crossed new experiences off my bucket list.
We snuck into a neighbor’s hot tub.
I skinny dipped in the ocean.
I slept on an air mattress that really didn’t want to cooperate.
The next day we participated in a datelock party. My date, a bandana, and a fifth of Bacardi was interrupted by cops.
We dumped out so much alcohol it made me want to cry. Half the people peaced out that night. We chose to go down with the ship.
We visited some friends in the local area the next morning and spent the day getting shwasted. I frolicked around the beach in my underwear because I didn’t bring a swimsuit. Go me.
I loved it.
So after a filling steak dinner, I get the following text: “SAKE BOMBS?!” So my FWB and I head over to my partner in crime’s apartment and hopped into the DD’s car.
I was nervous for my first sake bomb, but definitely excited for the rest. Champed 4. Definitely felt it.
I got to do sake bombs with the owner and the waitress there. It was great.
Snuggled up with my FWB afterwards and passed out. Twas a great night.
My BFFs 21st was last night at midnight.
I hotglued candles to a bottle of tequila and bedazzled a fishbowl then filled it with nips. We pregamed at her brothers house then piled into a car and drove to the city. Naturally we took jello shots while en route.
We got to a club, got some rum and cokes, snuck into the VIP section, and danced around. Got kicked out of the VIP section.
Birthday girl started throwing up in the bathroom. We broke one of the glass cups when we dropped it on the floor. Good. We started feeding her ice cubes.
Her brother carried her out of the club. She sat in my lap on the way home. She hung her head out the window the whole time. It was hilarious. She continued to throw up upon our arrival. I rubbed her back for an hour then someone else took over. I began taking shots. That’s really all I remember.
Apparently I was throwing up until about 5:30 in the morning. Then I fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up in a bed to someone spooning me. It was lovely. I thought it was my best friend till I rolled over. Definitely a male. I knew I didn’t do anything though because I still had all my clothes on.
Still felt alcohol in my system till about 4pm. Cracked open a beer at 5pm. Happy St. Pattys weekend 😉
So after a romantic dinner date at BWW with my FWB, we got a sudden text proclaiming a date party. Something along the lines of zip tie handcuffs and a fifth. Sounds like my kind of affair.
Since it was barely past 9, the ABC store was closed. I couldn’t get something reasonable, so I went for my fifth of 151 rum. Poor choice even if it was already half gone.
Arrived to the party scene, zip tied, stole a chaser. Champed that 151. Made comments about wanting to set it on fire. Glowed.
Left the party for beer. Threw up in a parking lot. FWB took me home. Hooked up all over the place, including the shower. Ended up being the drunk crying girl, but FWB pulled me back together. I think. Didn’t sleep till 5 en la mañana.
Finding my clothes this morning was like a scavenger hunt.
I’m exhausted and still slightly drunk, but today is big/little reveal so napping isn’t really an option. Damn.