I’m not sure what happened, but this blog is suddenly popular again. Welcome. I dropped this blog mainly because life, but I can get y’all all caught up with this long story short:
- I finished up that stellar internship without getting fired.
- I rounded out my final year in college with all A’s and regular margaritas.
- I interviewed for a company that took me to lunch, where everyone got drunk.
- I knew I found my future professional home and agreed to the job.
- I packed all my shit into a car and moved to a city where I knew literally no one.
- I spend most of my afternoons on this rigorous drinking schedule:
- Monday: bar trivia and beer
- Tuesday: bar trivia and beer
- Wednesday: my night off, water
- Thursday: bar poker and dancing in the club (all alcohols welcome)
- Friday: float day, DIY drinking plans
- Saturday: dance club
- Sunday: GAME OF THRONES
If anyone’s interested in my last few months, I’ve been blogging about how to lose weight without giving up alcohol.
Spoiler Alert: you don’t.
So this summer I’m living with a bunch of fellow interns in a dorm in a shitty town. We frolic a lot and it’s quite enjoyable.
Last night I had 11 drinks and took shots with a big-deal TV anchor. I drunk hula hooped. I danced. I got followed around by a creeper. I had to pee 5,000 times. I walked into the middle of the road. I blacked out. Apparently I’m hilarious. Made so many advances on this other intern, even though we’re both taken. But he’s a nice guy and my boyfriend doesn’t communicate that much, so that’s an interesting situation.
I woke up to a call from my supervisor: “Where are you?”
Spent the whole day at work drunk/hungover. Killing it.
Happy finals week! I’m that bitch at the pool that’s already done while everyone else is indoors studying their lives away.
My red solo cup was filled with popsicles and rum yesterday.
Then I built my own pizza and sipped some beers at a sorority family dinner.
Then I went to a Mexican restaurant and ordered a monster margarita.
Then I proceeded to pass out at an early 10pm. The alcohol won.
When my roommate tried to communicate with me around midnight, I told her she “wasn’t allowed in the hot tub club.”
I wish I knew what that was.
So formal was this weekend. I dressed in my neon, sequined, tribal patterned dress and proceeded to drink.
Finished a fifth, grabbed some tequila. Made it to formal.
Tore up the dance floor with my adorable date. Started to feel sick from all the movement. After a failed attempt to locate a bathroom, I ended up throwing up right as I walked in. Apparently some of that got on a sister. Go me.
They shipped me right back to the campus on the first bus home. I cried the whole way. Then jumped into the shower – dress and all.
Boyfriend joined me in the shower as I bawled my eyes out and questioned my life choices.
Recovered from the situation – just in time for him to also get sick. Man, we make a grand pair 😉
At least I got a good Instagram picture.
Had to write two research papers last night.
Decide to champ some margaritas, break some ground rules with my boyfriend, and fall asleep instead.
I’m glad I’m doing college the right way.
Some highlights from this weekend:
Gained a boyfriend. Lost some bragging rights.
Made Jell-O shots. Played shot roulette and got white girl wasted.
Some friends came to town. I’m sure they thought I was mega popular. Everywhere we went people were yelling my name.
Had a blast at the KS slip n’ slide. Ventured to DSPLXA for a foam party. Avoided ZL1.
Hung out at the giant puddle that was the KA slip n’ slide.
Chugged some platinums. Downed some jello.
Drunk makeup. Went to the school’s concert. Fought to the front of the crowd and just kind of fell asleep. But that’s ok. I saw it all on Snapchat and from what I heard, it wasn’t even that great.
Apparently I started running with my BFF and we just kind of fell onto some people. Good stuff.
Chilled at a steakhouse with some people from a class project. Ordered a bland tasting margarita and talked about hot girls, movies, and sports. I’m glad I can fit in with a group of males.
Went to a Mexican restaurant and partook in their Sunday special: the Monster Margarita.
It was a great night. I got drunk then snuggled my FWB. I’m starting to get a weird feeling about him. Updates to follow.
So after a filling steak dinner, I get the following text: “SAKE BOMBS?!” So my FWB and I head over to my partner in crime’s apartment and hopped into the DD’s car.
I was nervous for my first sake bomb, but definitely excited for the rest. Champed 4. Definitely felt it.
I got to do sake bombs with the owner and the waitress there. It was great.
Snuggled up with my FWB afterwards and passed out. Twas a great night.
Enjoyed our typical Marg Monday with a green Margarona in honor of St. Patty’s Day. Enjoyed 4 normal margaritas after that.
Hopped around in a friends dorm for a bit. Wore sunglasses indoors. Played an out-of-tune guitar while I sat on a friend. Convinced a very tiny person to take many shots. Snapchatted everyone I knew.
Got home. My FWB peaced out of his fraternity sleepover to shower with me. We frolicked past a sister into my room, much to her amusement. Further shenanigans. Started to feel some pressure to do things I didn’t want to do, so naturally I transformed into the drunk crying girl. It was great. I insisted that he didn’t have to stay there and baby me. So he left to hang out with his brothers again. Poor choice, but I survived.
Felt a little upset so I napped in my car for a bit. Got over myself then went back to a normal bed.
Got a FWB call at 1:30: “Can you let me in?”
Shenaniganned 2.0 and passed out. Woke up at 4:30 and he wasn’t there again, but his phone and shoes were so I knew he didn’t go very far. He stumbled back in at 6am. Apparently he sleepwalked to the room across the hallway and passed out in one of my sister’s beds.
It was a weird night.
We had a social with KA last night!
Pregame highlights: Called everyone and told them to come play. The KA president is under the impression that my FWB is my boyfriend. Drank my rum because the jungle juice was black and I wasn’t interested in a vodka mix. I brought a green horn, but we mostly used it in a funnel-fashion.
Our pregame was huge when we got a call that security was on the way. So we moved the party to the fraternity house. Then we moved it to our final destination. The lights were killer, the DJ was amazing, and the brothers were really fun! I met a lot of them.
I danced around with my FWB. Stole some shamrock-shaped glasses. Requested some songs. Danced with a ton of the brothers. Ventured home for shots. Was one of the last to leave.
Went to KS. Felt weird. Went to DS. Felt weird. Stood outside of Pike. Felt weird. Went home. Felt right.
Ate some microwaved food while sitting on the floor.
Showered and got a FWB call: “Wanna head back out to a party?” Not particularly. TURN DOWN FOR BED.
Got a FWB call at 4:30am. “Can you let me in?”
He stripped down to nothing and proceeded to throw up in the sink. Nevermind the fact that the toilet was 3 feet away. Too convenient.
Got to bed around 5:30. Had to wake up for a class project at 8:00. Bueno.
Found out the next day that he partook in some drugs and took someones keys because he thought they were mine.